Lois's rich aunt dies and leaves her massive mansion to Lois. Peter wants to live the high-life. He gets used to his new lifestyle and foolishly offers his mansion (which he believes valued at $10 million) for an art piece. The Griffins find out that the mansion used to be a whorehouse and it has no worth. The family, being normal again, remain the same and do not hate Peter for his foolishness.
After Peter's dad retires, Lois convinces Peter it'd be a good idea if he spent some time with the family. It turns out that Peter's dad loves to boss everyone around. He tells everyone what they can and cannot do. To get his father away from home, Peter takes his dad a job at The Happy-Go-Lucky Toy Factory where his father gets hired and bosses everyone around there. He realizes that Peter is very lazy and they become distant. Finally, Peter decides to kidnap the Pope so his father will love him.
Peter believes that the world is going to end at the turn of the millennium and so he forces the family to cancel all of their New Year's Eve plans. Peter's crazy idea turns out to be true. The family, desperate for food goes on a quest to the Twinkie factory to find food. On the way, Stewie is kidnapped by mutants.
In a Dallas-style ending, Victoria Principal wakes up from and tells Patrick Duffy she just had a bizarre dream of a weird episode of Family Guy.
Lois finds mysterious pee stains on the floor and thinks that it is time to potty-train Stewie. Stewie says he is not responsible for the pee stains and won't allow anyone to train him. Brian secretly knows that he is the culprit. His secret is fond out at the grocery store and Brian is sent to a therapist who suggests Brian takes a vacation in Europe. Brian realizes that the reason for his pee-stains is his love for Lois.
Spooner Street wins the parade trophy for their "Who's The Boss" float. They decide to share the trophy by putting it in the street. The neighborhood declares civil war when they wake up the next morning and find the trophy gone.
Meanwhile, Meg takes Stewie to Flappy Jacks and is mistaken for a lonely teenage mother and gets a job. Meg tries to get better tips by telling Flappy Jacks customers that Stewie is her illegitimate crack baby. This causes social services to come to Spooner Street while they're at war and they take Stewie away. The neighborhood forgets their differences and plan to get Stewie back.
Lois finds a lump in Peter's death and Peter goes the hospital. To avoid paying bills, Peter writes on the form that he is dead. As a result, Death (The Grim Reaper) comes to the Griffins house to collect Peter even though he isn't really dead. The rest of the family (besides Stewie, whose idol is Death) doesn't want Peter to leave, so Peter runs away and Death is injured. To repay Death, Peter has to fulfill all of Death's duties. Since Death can't collect anyone, Peter gains money by proving he can survive many things.
Lois is named new director of the Quahog Little Theatre Group. For her first production, Lois decides to do The King and I. Peter becomes very annoying about being a star so Lois makes him a producer just so he will shut up. Peter takes over the production and kicks Lois out of it. He makes the production into a play about cyborg battle.
Peter tells horrible female jokes and gets sued for harassment. His negative views toward women don't help. As a result, he is forced to go to women's retreat. Peter gets in touch with his feminine side a little too much though. He evens tries to breast-feed Stewie. Peter and Lois go to a party and Peter gets turned on when Lois has a cat fight with the retreat leader and turns back to his old self.
Peter's favorite television show, Gumbel 2 Gumbel is about to be canceled. He's forced to take drastic measures to save it. Peter takes Chris to The Make-A-Dream-Come-True" Foundation and tells them that Chris is terminally ill and his last wish is for Gumbel 2 Gumbel to remain on the air. The plan works until the foundation comes to The Griffins to check on Chris. Peter tells them that Chris has recovered, almost like a miracle. As a result, people keep coming to Peter to perform miracles. Lois forces Peter to stop pretending after the family is plagued by bloody bathwater and other unusual things.
Lois runs unopposed for school board until Peter runs against her so he can get his favorite teacher a job at the school. To beat Lois, Peter shows naked photos of Lois and tells horrible rumors and lies about her. His plan works and Peter is voted in to school board. Then, Peter allows Chris to bring a pornographic magazine to school so he won't peep into the girls locker room and he is forced to resign and apologize. During Lois's time running for school board, Stewie realizes that he might actually miss his mother.
Peter is worried that he will not leave behind a legacy when he dies after he sees a former classmate running the amusement park where he is having his birthday celebration. Chris gives Peter a painting for his birthday. Peter doesn't like it very much and he puts it in his car window. Someone offers to buy it from Peter. Peter realizes that he can use Chris to leave behind his legacy and to make money. Peter takes the whole family to New York and tries to make Chris famous.
Meg is embarrassed by Lois and Peter at a party she hosted so she takes her family on a talk show. That is where television producers discover the Griffin family and give them their own 24/7 reality television show called The Real Griffins. In the end, Meg is recasted by a teenage whore because the producers consider her too boring.
Brian offers to go pick up Stewie from his grandparent's house so Lois can stay home. However, Brian has been sad remembering his mother and how he was taken away from her and he gets drunk at bar. Stewie loses their airline tickets and they are forced to trek their way home. Along the way, they go back to the farm where Brian was born and Brian learns that his mother died long ago but was stuffed. Stewie helps Brian give his mother a proper burial.
The students at James Woods Memorial High School discover that licking toads will get them high and it becomes the new "in drug." Peter goes undercover as a student named Lando to stop the drug abuse and everyone likes him and he is very popular. He helps Meg become much more popular by asking her to the school dance but then he dumps her for the popular cheerleader Connie.
Lois thinks that Stewie needs to become more social with other babies his age and enrolls him into a daycare. He hates the daycare until he meats Janet. He wins Janet over when he gives him his cookies. In the end, he finds out that is all Janet ever wanted to do with him.
Since Lois doesn't have to watch any children, Peter thinks that Lois should become a flight attendant. His main objective is to use the free traveling benefit. Peter's plan is ruined though when a plane that Lois and Peter are both on is hijacked and lands in Cuba.
Peter and Lois decide they need a second car. Peter's poor negotiating skills lands him a horrible car. A mob boss tells Peter that he will steal his car so he can convince his insurance company to let him buy a new one. Peter goes along with the plan only to be met by the mob boss again, but this the mob boss asks Peter to take his nephew, Big Fat Paulie out to the movies. Peter brings Paulie back home and the whole family hates him. Peter kicks Paulie out of the house and tells him it is because Lois doesn't like him. As a result, a hit is put out for Lois's life.
Lois and Peter find out that Chris is skipping gym class because he is embarrassed about being overweight. Peter tries to talk Chris into getting liposuction. Chris declines, but Peter decides to go for it anyway. After his surgery, Peter looks better than ever. All of a sudden people are nice to Peter and are doing him favors. Lois is infuriated by Peter's behavior and gets even angrier when he joins "The Beautiful People's Club." Peter's fun doesn't last for long though. He accidentally drives off a cliff and goes back to the way he was.
Meanwhile, Brian has a horrible flea problem and the family has to move out while the house is fumigated. Stewie also gains weight while trying to tease Chris.
Peter gets the family a new accountant so he will get a bigger tax refund. He decides that he will build a pool with the money. Peter learns that the city doesn't allow digging for pools on his property. Peter goes to the Mayor West's office to learn the truth. On the map, Peter sees that county doesn't even have a record of his property. As a result, Peter declares his property Petoria, an independent country. After attending the United Nations meeting, he realizes that no one will respect his country until he expands his horizons. Peter invades US property by swimming in Joe's pool and the country goes to war against the Petoria. Lois and the children move out and Peter finally succumbs to the US Military.
The Head of Admissions at Brown University tells Meg that she needs to be involved more in extra-curricular activities to be accepted. Meg tries a variety of activities and fails miserably at all of them. Her last resort is asking Neil Goldman for a position on the school newspaper. Neil tells Meg she will only get the job if she gets an interview with Adam West. Meg gets the interview and makes a very interesting article. Peter (trying to be helpful) breaks into the school and switches Meg's article with his own article about Luke Perry being gay and he puts Meg's name on it.
The next day, everyone is thrilled with Meg's story. Everyone except Luke Perry who sues the Griffins. Peter tries to prove that Luke Perry is gay. Luke Perry ends up in the Griffins house and Peter explains his reasons. Luke decides that he will drop the lawsuit if the Griffins write a new article about Luke Perry not being gay.
In this Willy Wonka type introduction, the brewery decides that it is going to give a tour to lucky people who find scrolls in their drinks of beer. Peter and Brian find one and go to the factory but end up getting kicked out.
Meanwhile, Lois is trying her best to beat her rival piano teacher at the piano playing contest who has beaten her every year. Lois drives her best student nuts and has no student to place in the contest. Lois learns that Peter can play the piano wonderfully while drunk. She keeps him drunk until after the piano competition so she can win.
Peter thinks that Chris is very irresponsible after he allows a squirrel to ruin their camping trip. He gets Chris a job at the golf course. Chris feels rejected when Peter decides to enter the father-son golf contest with Cleveland, Jr.
To get revenge, Chris starts hanging out with Quagmire and goes to various strip joints. Cleveland, Jr. leaves Peter, so he gets Chris to take his place. They lose the competition and Chris gives Peter his paycheck to repay all the people who put their money on Cleveland, Jr.
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